I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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