he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
