I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
