we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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