So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
