great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
