If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
