Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
