Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
