Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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