no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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