So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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