She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
