Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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