put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
