Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
