I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
