Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
