Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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