At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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