OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
