she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
