bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
