so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I wear drunk well.
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