Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
