its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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