xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
