I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
