Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
