do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
