Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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