Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Randomize
