i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
