some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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