I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
