This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
