im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
