I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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