not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
