bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
