you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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