somebody snuck up and got me drunk
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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