It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
