if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
