Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
