Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
