either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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