Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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