I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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