the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
