I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
