We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
