you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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