how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
